why is happiness unforgivable?

 I recently enjoyed a memoir by the poet, Donald Hall, called Life Work. The main theme of the book is work, in all of its nuances. There are many vignettes of his grandparents' work on their farm in New Hampshire, his father's dairy business, his childhood spent between suburban and rural life, and of course of his own work as a man of letters, but there is one sentence that has stuck with me and that has me picking the book up again and again to reread the chapter that contains it. 

When talking about the great pleasure he finds in his work on the best days, he stops and asks "Why is happiness unforgivable?" My first reaction was, "Is it? Really?" He was talking about when a more melancholy reader might pick up his book, and say "Enough already! My life sucks! Yours should, too," at least that is how I understood it the first time through, but I didn't feel that way at all, and I can be as melancholy as the next gal. Hey, if someone is happy, I'm happy for them. If they are fulfilled by a day's or even a lifetime's work, that's just fine by me. Because I know, I KNOW, that even the most cheerful, most successful among us has plenty of their own moments of glumness.

Happiness, like the grey smoke of incense, is fleeting. It lingers just long enough to fill our souls with ample sweetness to know that it's a good idea to carry on. Life, by nature, is hard. If we come upon any kind of happiness it should be relished...either our own or that of others. The more I thought about Hall's question, the more I realized that very often it is the happiness of others that helps to nurture my own moments of contentment. Just think, at any given moment there might be hundreds of happy people within walking distance of your home. ;) Even the thought of it can cajole a smile, if I allow it.

I'm not sure why Donald Hall's sentence struck me so hard. Maybe it's because I didn't believe he really felt that way. His own life has been brim with struggles and sorrows, more than anyone should have to bear, and yet he has also written about knowing profound joy through his work, through his second marriage, through his children and grandchildren. He is one man who seems to know what it means when the philosophers preach "You can't know joy unless you know sorrow." I guess it made me think that he doesn't have a lot of faith in his readers if he didn't trust them enough to know that he has a right to claim his deep happiness in his work. He's earned it. It gives me great hope, as another human being forging her way through life, to see that people, no matter how grave things can get, have the spirit to carry on...and even be happy. Happiness is not unforgivable. What would be unforgivable is to not give it its due praise. 

Comments

[darlene]

i don't think happiness is unforgivable either ... i really like the idea that what would be unforgivable is to not give it its due praise ... happiness is fleeting and beautiful and so incredibly giving i think ... xo

[robin'seggblue]

"You are forgiven for your happiness and your successes only if you generously consent to share them."
Albert Camus

of course, it's the sharing and spreading of the joy we have found that makes it all the more worthwhile!

great food for thought today!
:)

[Relyn]

This is a profound, but sad post. I think it's sad because you are right, so many people do seem to resent other's happiness. But, you are right, praise it, notice it, thank God for it.