land of counterpane

I have had many surgeries over the years, beginning with a fairly major one when I was 10 months old to remove hemangiomas from my head and back. I don't recall that one of course, but I do remember having my tonsils removed when I was perhaps 10 or 11. One of the best parts of having your tonsils out is that you get to eat ice cream and Popsicles for breakfast, lunch or dinner. One of the other best parts was all the love and attention and snuggle time in your cozy bed. But my earliest memory of recovering from surgery was when I was maybe 6 or 7 and I had to have reconstructive surgery on the scar on my head. I don't remember anything about the actual surgery, but I remember coming home to my cozy pink bed and my mom giving me a special book of poems: A Child's Garden of Verses, by Robert Louis Stevenson. 

Oh how I loved that book. This was what mine looked like:

It is the 1970's version illustrated by the Provensens, and I treasured it for years. Somehow I lost it along the way of growing up but I scoured eBay several years ago until I found another copy for myself. I spent hours reading from this book and enjoying the pictures and my very favourite was The Land of Counterpane.

The Land of Counterpane
by Robert Louis Stevenson
When I was sick and lay a-bed,    I had two pillows at my head,    And all my toys beside me lay    To keep me happy all the day.        And sometimes for an hour or so      I watched my leaden soldiers go,    With different uniforms and drills,    Among the bed-clothes, through the hills;        And sometimes sent my ships in fleets    All up and down among the sheets;   Or brought my trees and houses out,    And planted cities all about.        I was the giant great and still    That sits upon the pillow-hill,    And sees before him, dale and plain,  The pleasant land of counterpane.

If you have ever read Stevenson's beloved poems for children, you know how vividly he can capture the imagination, sending a young and even an adult mind to marvelous places beyond the walls of your room. I took my book down from the shelf today, brought it to my bed and spent an hour or so remembering just what it was that captured my heart so many years ago. These were the first poems I committed to memory, and not because I tried to...only because I loved them enough to read them over and over again. Another favourite is Bed in Summer, and this one:

which ends like this:

I called the little pool a sea; 
The little hills were big to me; 
For I am very small. 
I made a boat, I made a town, 
I searched the caverns up and down, 
And named them one and all. 

And all about was mine, I said, 
The little sparrows overhead, 
The little minnows too. 
This was the world and I was king; 
For me the bees came by to sing, 
For me the swallows flew. 

I played there were no deeper seas, 
Nor any wider plains than these, 
Nor other kings than me. 
At last I heard my mother call 
Out from the house at evenfall, 
To call me home to tea. 

And I must rise and leave my dell, 
And leave my dimpled water well, 
And leave my heather blooms. 
Alas! and as my home I neared, 
How very big my nurse appeared. 
How great and cool the rooms! 

I have been spending a great deal of time on my bed the past few days. After such a great start to my recovery I've had a little set back. At my appointment on Wednesday my nurse practitioner Anne Marie (I really love her) gave me the first fill in my implant...it has not stopped hurting since. They did not remove my drain because I am still producing too much fluid, and I am very swollen under my arm where they removed the three lymph nodes. The past two days I have been having muscle spasms around the clock: if I lie perfectly still they will subside, but as soon as I move...ouch. It feels like when I was in labour with my daughter and my abdomen would contract and push down...except it is on my chest. The implant gets round and very hard and raises up to a ball. And it stays that way. I just don't think that is what is supposed to happen and I am hoping that my body has not decided it doesn't like having it in there.

It's been a little different, staying in bed all day, than how I remember it as a child. Not so delicious. I'm tired and when I try to read my eyes cross. My friend brought me some audio books and those have been wonderful. I think I've only missed a few chapters when I've dozed off now and again. But oh I had such plans of catching up on reading, and of writing lots of things I've been wanting to write. It just hasn't happened. While the pain is certainly not unbearable, it is ever present and wears me out.

But back to The Land of Counterpane...I am hoping that tomorrow will be a more imaginative day for me while tucked into my nest with my three cats and piles of books and pencils and crisp white paper. And my laptop, of course. I'll bring my book of childhood poems along again..two copies. You see, several years ago my mom gave me a copy of A Child's Garden of Verses again. This time a first edition copy illustrated by my very favourite, Tasha Tudor. It is my most treasured book and sits in my bookcase right next to my desk always. 

It was published in 1947 and has that beautiful patina of a well-loved and often enjoyed old book that I love so much. Tasha Tudor died this past June in her beautiful home in Marlboro, Vermont. The first time I drove through the little town nestled in the Green Mountains I called my mom to tell her where I was. I was so excited!  Tasha was 92 when she died and lived most of her life in New England in the manner of a nineteenth century farm wife. I have just about every book written about her; she lived a magical life. For over 70 years her illustrations elicited wide admiration. In 1941 The New York Times stated: "her pictures have the same fragile beauty of early spring evenings." I could not say it any better.

P.S. My daughter took the photograph at the the top. It is just one of the beautiful, beautiful bunches of flowers that have been given to me over the past two weeks. I have been spoiled by all the flowers in my house. I adore them. Thanks to all who brought them to me...

Comments

[Kelly Snelling]

remember me talking about flexeril? this was why i needed it. your muscles have been cut. and now you have the implant stretching your skin underneath. your body is in spasm from all this trauma. don't be stubborn if it get too much, kateri. it is okay to take medicine so you can rest and heal. you don't have to take it all day every day. but maybe before you go to bed at night so you can sleep. you need to rest so your body can repair itself. i'm glad you are having a time of happy remembering with this wonderful book of poetry. the poems and pictures are so lovely. and you do so need to rest and heal, sweet friend. so keep enjoying that book! xo-k

[Linni]

Hey Beautiful woman!

mmmm...I thought that you would like to catch up on your reading...but that is why they call it B.E.D. R.E.S.T. Catch it? teehee...

you are allowed to doze off...and sleep..and not read...embrace this time to truly rest and recover...sending out love love love...and some sunshine! lots of that!

love you ...
and rest now..

now...teehee xx

[Michelle Schreier]

I miss your posts and just looked for you on fb and you are gone from my friends list. Likely sick of mafia wars posts - sorry! I hope you are ok. I was writing to see if you may possibly be in Northern MI this summer, we are going up for the rest of the summer. Please write if you can, would love to hear from you. I was looking for your book list today too, I need something amazing to read!

As always, your writing is beautiful and moves me almost to tears....