life in a fish bowl

A friend of mine came to visit recently and commented on how strange she thought it was that I've decided not to have curtains in my home.

"Don't you feel like you're in fish bowl?" she asked.

"Not really, I guess I'm more concerned about the view out of my windows. I have beautiful, big picture windows. Why cover them up?"

To me it would be like hanging a cloth over a piece of art.

Sure, if someone drives by at night they can see right in. But it's not like I'm doing anything interesting enough to divert someone's eyes from the road. What are they going to gawk at? Me sitting at my desk in my sweats, with my hair piled on my head, typing away? And if they have nothing better to do, then have at it. And if it's a friend driving by who sees me sitting there...honk and I"ll wave.

Seriously...I can think of many other ways my life is more of a fish bowl than not having curtains. I live in a small town. There are not many places I can go that I don't know someone. And it's a regular Peyton Place, trust me. I love living in a small town. I love knowing the people in my community, even the ones I don't particularly like, and there are not too many of them anyways. When people make remarks about what a small town we live in I like to say "Nah, it's really just a big living room." The interesting thing to me is that long time friends often say to me "For as open as you are about your life with your friends, you remain a mystery. You fly under the radar." And that's okay, too. My life is not an open book, even here where I tend to say a lot. There are only a very small handful of people whom I trust with complete chapters, and even those dear souls do not know every word.

It's good to be a mystery. It's good to have people look in your windows and not be sure at all of what they see.

And what about writing a blog? If you're honest, it's an open invitation to your life. But you can choose what to reveal and what not to even while being honest. Anyhow, back to not having curtains...I will never have them in the living spaces of my home. The unencumbered view is too important to me. It's like my fish, Krishna...if I covered his glass up he would never see beyond his own mouth.

It has been a delight, every single night, every single morning to have no curtains in my bedroom. I look out at the trees swaying when it's windy, at the snow falling, at the winter birds and the deer. But it is drafty and cold this time of year, and for a private space, even though it is tucked away in the back of my house, I feel like long and luxurious curtains would be nice. So I'm choosing... a pale taupey-silver velvet or silk dupioni, very long, to pool on the wood floor. Velvet or silk? I just can't decide yet. But I'll leave them open always so the trees will never hide and the deer can look in anytime they want.

Not to change the subject too drastically, but I bought three photographs for my bedroom, from enchanting women I know through their blogs. You can see them here, here, and here. The last one reminds me of so many things. In a solemn way, for me, it recalls Virginia Woolf. In a dreamier way it feels like freedom, but perhaps with a price. There are many stories in that photo. And the colours are spectacular. It is like a poem to me.

I've had a nice night with friends, Mexican beer, and enchiladas. Feeling sleepy. Time to settle in my curtain-less nest with a book. If you are a lover of Valentine's Day, I hope you had a happy one.

'Night 'night.

Comments

[PixieDust]

I love the texture of dupioni silk... I hope you will take a picture when you decide.

I love Caroline's photos - so beautiful...

Mexican beer... hmmm... first thought that pops in my head is Tecate with lime and salt - :-D

(((HUGS))),
Love,
Me

[Frankie Kins]

I found your charming blog through Nina Bagley's blog. First of all, let me say that I agree about curtains. Why have them...unless you need them for some reason. I love big, open windows, too....and the view outdoors. It never bothered me to think that people had time to look in, either.

Also, you have one of my favorie CDs in your player: Patty Griffin. Wow. She's awesome.

Thanks for the great read.

Frankie Kins
www.bluemoonstudio.typepad.com

[caroline]

I feel exactly the same about not having curtains. I feel claustrophobic with them and cut off from nature that I love. We have to draw them on cold nights, but when I can manage I leave my side of the bed open so I can see the stars and wake up with the light.

Thanks for liking my photos, I"m so happy about that. I'm sending them out in the post tomorrow by the way, sorry about the delay... x